Why I’m Glad I Waited Until 30 To Marry


I know what you’re thinking…

Getting married shouldn’t be about age – it should be about the person that you love and you’re absolutely right.

This post isn’t to try to argue that point at all.  In fact, this post is actually to re-enforce that same point and that sometimes you might have to wait for the right person.  It’s okay to wait. 

During my twenties, I sat by and watched a lot of my friends marry and have children while I waited and waited and waited… for the right person to come along.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get married. Considering the fact that I was engaged five times before I actually made it to the alter it was obviously on my mind. Yet, each time for whatever reason – I backed out. Whether it be for what people consider legitimate reasons (and there were a lot of legitimate reasons) or not – there was always something that kept me from saying, “Yes, I’m completely okay with being with this person for the rest of my life and I believe we will have a happy life together.”

The thing about me that was different from a lot of other people is I grew up in a single family home. My parents stayed together. They may not have always been happy about it, but they stuck it out and worked with each other setting an amazing example for myself and my sister.

I knew as an adult that I was only getting married one time so I’d better make sure I was making the right decision. Not to say there weren’t times when I was lonely and wanted to cave in but I held strong until eventually I kind of just gave up on the idea that anyone was out there for me and became okay with being alone.talk with love

No, really, I was completely okay with being by myself. Not that kind of okay where you’re crying into your bucket of ice cream alone on the couch on Saturday night watching I Love Lucy reruns still convincing yourself that you’re okay. I was really okay with it.

In fact, I was more than okay with it – I was excited. You see, I was really focusing on me which was GREAT since every time I was in a relationship it seemed like I put everything I had into the other person and didn’t take care of me. I dealt with some issues I had, was working out, eating right, focusing on raising a good man along with dealing with life as a single mom and reaffirming my relationship with the Lord.

And then one day, it was as if lightning struck. My husband asked me out on a date, we got together that night and haven’t gone a day without seeing each other since then. I really wish that I could describe to you the kind of relationship we have, but it’s difficult to put into words. He’s my best friend, my coach, my cheerleader, my therapist, my partner – my everything. He makes me better than I am and every day that I have with him, I wonder how I spent my life without him.

The moral of the story my friend is that without taking the time to figure out who I didn’t want, I wouldn’t have been able to figure out who I did want. Take the time to learn to have peace within yourself and love for yourself before you make the leap into marriage. When I did the same thing and then let go and let God do his work – he sent my Mr. Right right to me. I can say with certainty – He’ll do the same for you.

All my love,

– B